Dictator dead. Surprsingly, not in a ditch.

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Dictator dead. Surprsingly, not in a ditch

As the world woke this morning to the news that a dictator had died, many Britons were surprised to find that he wasn’t found in a ditch.

After Boris Johnson’s assertion that he’d rather be found dead in a ditch than not deliver Brexit, it was in fact former Zimbabwe president Robert Mugabe who died overnight.

His successor, Emmerson Mnangagwa, expressed his ‘utmost sadness’

that a man who actually had power and was listened to was being compared with Boris Johnson.

Mr Mugabe’s early years in power were praised for broadening access to health and education, particularly for the black majority but his later years were defined by his evil dictatorship.

And Mr Mnangagwa described this as ‘in stark contrast’ to the floundering spin which has defined Boris’ first 6 weeks in power. And said it seemed unlikely that Mr Johnson’s premiership will even make it to what can be called medum term. Mr Mnangagwa said, ‘for all his bluff and bluster the UK prime minister appears to be a dictator only in his own head’. He said Mr Johnson was ‘shouting into an echo chamber full of Brexiteers’ but ‘not being listened to by anybody outside of the Daily Mail readership and people who like the pictures in The Sun’.

Following the news of Mr Mugabe’s death, a spokesman for the Zanu-PF party described the former president as ‘a principled man…who believed in himself…and what he did…and was very assertive’.

Asked whether he saw similar qualities in Boris, he said, ‘Well he seems to have evil intentions and lack humanity so there are similarities there. Boris also appears to believe in himself but he lacks principles, belief in what he does, and has no power to assert – and what is that hair all about?’

It’s not yet clear when final goodbyes will be said, but experts predict it will be following an early November election.

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