The government’s decision on the controversial involvement of Chinese telecoms giant, Huawei, in the UK’s 5G network has been put off until after the 12 December general election.
An inscrutable spokesperson for the Chinese telecoms giant, Won Hung Lo, said, “We are not in the least bothered by this government’s decision to postpone. It makes sense. It hasn’t been easy dealing with the UK with all this Brexit nonsense. But we’re prepared to bide our time. Once the election is over it will be much clearer for us. We will know for certain who we have to bung.
Lo added, “It’s cost us big bucks so far. Liam Fox is a big eater and he always has his ‘friend’ with him. Greasing up to Ed Vaizey wasn’t cheap either, then Matt Hancock, and now Margot James. But we’re in this for the long game and have deep pockets. There’s no competition in the UK so it’s just a matter of biding our time.”
When it was pointed out that the UK had a major competitor, BT, Won Hung Lo collapsed in a fit of laughter and an ambulance had to be called.
As the paramedics were bundling the inscrutable oriental into the back of an ambulance, Lo couldn’t resist cackling out a joke. This was as follows:
“What’s the difference between a rabbit and Matt Hancock? One’s a rabbit and the other’s a self-serving lying twat.”
When BT was telephoned for a comment about the government’s decision, a spokeswoman said, “Hello? Who’s there? Is that Domino’s Pizza?… Hello? Can I have a medium Quattro formaggio and two cans of Coke please?… Hello!?”