In an exclusive interview on Youtube David Icke has revealed how 5G was responsible for the death of Bambi’s mother.
Icke, a one-time snooker commentator turned conspiracy theory expert, said that while the ‘evil capitalist bastards’ that run the Disney Corporation from inside a dormant volcano would have us all believe it was a hunter, he has new evidence which proves that 5G ‘controlled by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the lizard’ temporarily warped the mind of the animated beast causing it to simultaneously leap in to the air while entering a time tunnel, inventing a shotgun for the use of the hooved community and positioning itself with a view of the exact spot in the forest where it knew that its future self would leap at some later time – and then shot itself.
Icke said the evidence is ‘irrefutable’ as it was given to him by his cat who received the message telepathically from ET’s second cousin once removed.
He claims that 5G will mean that ‘human life as we know it is over.’
Asked to describe it, he said a 5G world will be one in which people leave their homes whenever they want, have jobs to go to and are able to watch live sport at weekends (and occasionally on a weekday, especially if you support a Championship club or one that’s successful in Europe).
He also blamed 5G for sinking the Titanic, shooting Franz Ferdinand and ripping the legs off his brother’s Action Man on that Devon holiday in 1958.
YouTube has now changed its rules on posting about conspiracy theories.
A move which Icke said was ‘just typical of a company being run by an autocratic race of Martians intent on taking over the entire world – apart from Milton Keynes, obviously.