Reports suggest former PM David Cameron has been advising Theresa May on how to go about the business of Brexit.
The move has been applauded by environmental campaigners – who say our high streets and shopping centres would make the ideal habitat for the native British tumbleweed.
Tumbleweed used to be a common sight right across the UK – rolling down our streets as we all stood in awkward silence, wondering what to say.
In the era of the smartphone, there’s barely any left.
Cameron’s last attempt to handling Brexit, back in 2016, saw him crash out of office.
This time his involvement could well crash the country. The pair having a meeting could tank the pound, while May actually taking Cameron’s advice would hit the economy so hard we’ll all be begging to move to North Korea.
Which is probably why Theresa May has strenuously denied the reports of Cameron’s advice.
It’s no surprise to hear that David Cameron’s been getting out and about – having spent much of the last year holed up in his £25,000 Shepherd’s Hut writing his memoirs.
“That’s been tremendous fun. I’ve been tucked up in my cosy hut, listening to the gentle sound of the book’s ghost writer typing away at the key board.”
“He’s a decent enough chap, but does get a bit bolshie when I demand things like a cup of tea or eight course banquet. Honestly, some people have got such a sense of entitlement.”
Whether or not he has been advising May on Brexit, it’s no secret that Cameron plans to devote much of his time next year to campaigning on issues of social justice.
“I was particularly moved to read the story about a group of homeless people who were planning on staying in a hotel in Hull over the Christmas period, but have since had their booking cancelled.
“The way that poor hotel company has been treated by the press has been nothing short of a disgrace. I will do everything I possibly can to right that wrong,” Mr Cameron pledged.