Coronavirus ‘too depressing’ for Eastenders

Entertainment, Art & Culture
Coronavirus 'too depressing' for Eastenders

The BBC has postponed filming of Eastenders until further notice.

The news comes after the shows’ producers said that Coronoavirus is ‘too depressing even for a show which is based solely on dodgy cockney accents, angry grunting and more family fall outs than even the royals can muster.’

The number of EastEnders episodes screened will also be cut from four to two per week.

A BBC spokesman said the postponement is in line with the latest government guidelines and should help to protect the actors and their loved ones from contracting or spreading Covid-19, adding ‘It’s all abaat faamly.’

He said life was ‘tough enough’ on the public right now, with many of them being forced to spend time at home with people they usually only see at weekends and on holiday, and that to ‘subject them to four episodes of moping and misery’ every week could ‘tip some viewers over the edge.’

He went on to say that BBC bosses hope that Steve McFadden, who plays Phil Mitchell, and Adam Woodyatt, who plays Ian Beale, won’t get other roles and will be ready to return as soon as filming is able to continue. Although either of those two getting another job seems about as likely as Danny fucking Dyer discovering the fucking cure to the fucking Coronafuckingvirus behind the fucking bar at the Queen fucking Vic.

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