Singer-songwriter James Newman will represent the United Kingdom at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.
However, the coronavirus, Covid-19, is expected to be the real winner at this year’s Eurovision, after it was revealed to be representing every single country at the outlandish singing competition.
The coronavirus is not taking life as seriously as everyone else and is joining in with the fun: representing every country all at once, in its role as parasitic killer organism.
The virus has plenty in common with the contest. They’re both really infectious and really bring people together – one of them in a glorious celebration of garish fun and music, and the other in Intensive Care Units the world over.
Despite a potential travel ban and countries quarantining themselves, a bunch of desperate singers risking everything to hit the big time and Eurovision-loving uberfans will insist on travelling to a single country and spreading this horrific, infectious disease amongst each other.
And they may well spread coronavirus as well!
Newman will perform ‘My Last Breath’ at the Rotterdam final on 16 May.
In an example of an artist dying for his art, he may well perform the song with his very last breath.
The UK’s looking to improve on last year, when Michael Rice’s ballad ‘Bigger Than Us’ finished in last place.
It is hoped that the UK may well finish at least 4th, with the odds of all other acts dying on stage – quite literally – unusually high.