Corbyn ‘never calls, never texts, and has started acting all secretive’ say a heartbroken Sinn Fein

UK Politics
Corbyn 'never calls, never texts, and has started acting all secretive' say a heartbroken Sinn Fein

Sinn Fein has said that Jeremy Corbyn ‘never calls, never texts, and has started acting all secretive’.

The couple have enjoyed a ‘close personal relationship’ over many years, interrupted only by a few weddings and brief fling with Diane Abbott, but Sinn Fein, who many believe to be Mr Corbyn’s one true love, have started to think maybe he has something of a roving eye.

In response Mr Corbyn said, ‘So now I can’t even take an interest in Northern Ireland without being accused of cheating?’ But his credit card bill suggests he’s been enjoying lunches and drinks in Westminster and Belfast, leading Sinn Fein to fear his latest bedfellows are ‘those tarts from up north’.

Labour’s Sir Keir Starmer said his party’s ‘door is open’ to the DUP,

and that they’re ‘welcome to come in and  join Jezza in the jacuzzi for some canapes, a glass of bubbly and some constructive talks. Then we’ll just see how things progress.’

Mr Starmer dismissed suggestions that the Labour leader ‘fancies the DUP’ but described him as ‘a bit of a player’ who ‘has his needs’.

On Saturday Mr Corbyn and the DUP were among MPs that voted to withhold approval of a new Brexit deal until the necessary laws to implement it are passed.

Sinn Fein were unable to take their seats in the Commons at the weekend as they were washing their hair, but they said from now on they’ll be ‘keeping a close eye on what happens in the House’ and will ‘drop him like a stone’ if they think Mr Corbyn is ‘whoring himself out to the DUP’.

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