Concerns mount that Donald Trump might be as thick as shit

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'No offence taken,' says Trump as he orders nuclear strikes against UK, Canada and France

Concerns are growing in the US that Donald Trump might be as thick as shit.

On Monday, the president repeatedly misunderstood drug company executive’s statements about plans to test possible Coronavirus vaccines and claimed that one could be ready in three to four months.

This, despite the fact that groups of health officials stood at the back of the press conference waving banners saying, ‘Shut up you bellend’ and ‘You know NOTHING!’ and ‘What part of “up to 1 year” don’t you understand?’

Rumours began to spread about the Trump’s lack of intelligence during his original campaign to be president. One campaign official said it ‘all went well until he opened his mouth.’ It was at that point that Republican party officials began to question whether they had made a mistake in selecting Trump as their candidate. But the decision was made to ‘just run with it’ and hope there were ‘enough voters with a similar level of thick headedness’ across the country.

Mr Trump has contradicted health professionals on the progress of vaccines as well as the potential for the virus to spread.

Last week Mr Trump hit the headlines after he proudly announced he’d built an igloo out of jelly only to be told by Melania that what he’d done was dropped some jelly on the floor, and immediately after Monday’s press conference footage emerged of the president accidentally shitting in his own hands and then clapping himself for it. Reporters said the president turned up, made a fool of himself and then left a load of shit behind for someone else to clean up. Which one commentator described as ‘probably a good metaphor for his political career.’

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