Pensions Secretary Amber Rudd has said those who are reckless with company employees pensions should face tougher custodial sentences and could see up to seven years in prison.
The work and pensions secretary said that displaying reckless behaviour over pensions schemes will become a criminal offence.
In a separate statement, the spokesman for an alliance of company bosses said that screwing up the most important negotiation this country has undergone since the second world war should be made a criminal offence, with jail terms up to life imprisonment.
“Screwing a few fools daft enough to trust us with their pension money is nothing in comparison to what this bunch of incompetent posh Tory little England no-hopers is doing to our country,” said the business leaders’ spokesman, Hugh Jannuity.
“The idiots we employ are lucky to reach pension age on what we pay them. That should be reward in itself. Then demanding the pensions we lied to them they would get is just taking the piss. That’s OUR money! What are food banks for anyway?”
Amber Rudd issued a second statement in reaction to that of the company bosses:
“There is no comparison whatsoever between self serving company bosses lying about the future benefits of schemes they offer then screwing their employees, and self serving politicians lying about the future benefits of Brexit then screwing the country… No comparison… No siree-bob! None, nada, nichts, niet… and to imply such is soon to become a criminal offence with a jail term up to seven years, so watch it!”