Chuka Umunna leaves Change UK to join Take That

Entertainment, Art & Culture, Popular Right Now, UK Politics
Chuka Umunna decides to join Take That

The world of politics has been rocked to the core by the news that Chuka Umunna is quitting the Change UK party.

And never one to let the grass grow under his feet, Mr Umunna has quickly released a press statement declaring he’s joining the pop group Take That.

Showbiz agent Tony Stealer said that although the unlikely career move might appear bizarre at first glance, on closer inspection it actually made a great deal of sense.

“Ever since Robbie Williams left Take That they’ve been looking for a new cheeky chappie. The fact that Chuka wanted voters to take him seriously as a politician shows he’s got a real cheek, so in that way it’s a perfect fit,” explained Mr Stealer. “He very much fills the gap.”

Mr Stealer said Mr Umunna had already demonstrated many talents that proved he could do well in the world of light entertainment.

“Some of his speeches have been absolutely laughable, complete comedy gold. On TV shows like Newsnight Chukka has shown he can dance on the head of a pin, a real twinkletoes in that respect.

“And as long as he thinks it’s going to get him to the top, Chuka is never too fussy over what songsheet he sings from. That kind of determination and versatility is priceless in showbiz, he’s a proper all-rounder.”

Mr Stealer added the former Labour/former Change UK MP had an innate sense of style and immaculate dress sense.

“Chuka tries to make the very best of whatever yarn he’s got available,” Mr Stealer asserted.

And in breaking news this afternoon, Mr Umunna announced that less than 24 hours after joining Take That he’d decided to quit the group.

“It’s been a tough decision, but quite frankly we’ve had musical differences,” he said.

“As soon as I met my fellow band mates I realised there was a pecking order of who was going to be the most talented and popular with fans. With that in mind, I suggested we change the name of the group to Chuka Umunna And Three Other Singers. They refused.

“So now I’m going to form a duo with Chaka Khan. I think we’ll call ourselves Chuka And Chaka. If I don’t get top billing, I’ll quit her as well and go solo.”

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