Christmas Dinner to cost more this year after pre-Brexit Policy sees all Turkeys sent “back” to Istanbul

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Christmas Dinner to cost more this year after Brexit Confusion sees all Turkeys sent back to Istanbul

Your Christmas turkey is likely to cost more this year due to supply issues which has caused a hike in prices.

There is a decreased supply which is down to many turkeys being sent back to where they are from – Istanbul, Turkey according to government sources.

With Brexit supposedly on the horizon, it was the most humane solution for many turkeys who were without the correct papers to remain in the country. Apparently the Christmas cracker paper hats were not official documentation to the surprise of many turkeys.

A spokesperson told us, “we are not a government that will allow these Turkish citizens to be eaten by the British people because of tradition. We have sent thousands back to where they belong and believe this is the most politically correct option.”

Supply issues are also expected to affect Brussels sprouts and potatoes. And Christmas ham is also affected due to African swine fever.

Brussels sprouts have also been sent back to where they belong, to the EU headquarters because we don’t need them anymore.

Many turkey producers have got out of the business altogether to concentrate on chicken production instead.

The chicken is now the much more patriotic bird according to the government, and they are encouraging proud British farmers to rear this animal instead.

I interviewed a turkey relaxing on the Mediterranean south coast, he now has plans to retire out there and setup a B&B by the beach. Although he has enjoyed being relocated and not being eaten, others have not been so willing for change. Many have complained about the climate and the language barrier – the native turkeys of Turkey gobble with a very strong accent.

Also many turkeys didn’t realise that their ancestry was from Turkey in the first place. A festive episode of Who do you think you are? to be shown this December follows a cockney turkey trace his roots back to 4th Century Constantinople where one of his ancestors was the prized bird of a Byzantine emperor. A must watch for the Christmas season.

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