Cats movie breaks record as most expensive Christmas Turkey after Skywalker stuffs it up the Macavity

UK Politics
Cats movie breaks record as most expensive Christmas Turkey after Skywalker stuffs it up the Macavity

The movie version of Cats has flopped. The movie was expected to smash the box office but took just $6.5m (£5m) at the North American box office. The $100m (£77m) film, which was expected to make double that amount, debuted fourth on the US chart, with the new Stars Wars movie on top.

Initially, the scapegoat was James Corden, simply because none of Take That were around, and because he’s an irritating showbiz cunt-wipe.

In the UK and Ireland, it grossed a meagre £3.4m, after a severe slapping from critics and according to Hollywood Reporter, an updated print of Cats was sent out to cinemas on Friday. Last-minute re-edits with “some improved visual effects” failed to do the trick.

This was a £77million pound turkey.

Stars were queuing up to appear in the movie, based on the hit stage musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Director Tom Hooper, who made Oscar-winning film The King’s Speech, has been open about the fact that he only just managed to finish his CGI-heavy movie before its world premiere in New York on Monday.

Keen-eared Cats fans can hear the cries of the ghost of TS Elliot in the soundtrack.

Stars from Taylor Swift, Idris Elba, Rebel Wilson and Jason Derulo queued up to appear in what was thought to be the movie of the year.

Star Wars stuffed the turkey like Jamie Oliver’s butter smeared hand up its Macavity.

The movie trailed behind Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker at the US box office and Jumanji: The Next Level and Frozen 2.

Even Old Deuteronomy, played by Dame Judi Dench couldn’t save this turkey, she was measured if somewhat askew as she decided to blame it all on Jeremy Coryn.

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