“The teenagers were attempting to calm the situation down by making very funny jokes and laughing loudly to show a spirit of friendly goodwill. Whereas the native American wasn’t even talking in English. If you can’t speak a country’s own language you gotta expect a bit of trouble.”
This time around the pair won’t be talking about nuclear disarmament. Trump’s just looking for some advice on how to get his own government back in line and end the current shutdown. Kim Jong Un is the leading expert on how to handle shutdowns – having shut down freedom of speech, freedom of movement, and freedom of the thoughts you have when you’re just drifting off to sleep but feel you might need the loo.
He welcomed the winners of the national college football championship, the Clemson Tigers, with more than 300 burgers as well as fries and pizzas. Trump shared images with his followers, making note that he had millions more than Jesus ever had and that the son of God’s social media presence was ‘sad, like really sad’.
Trump then continued his rambling speech by talking about the expensive cars that the Secret Service use and the wheels on those vehicles. No-one is quite sure how long he spoke for, as something more relevant and interesting began happening while the President was speaking. A full report on that paint drying will be published shortly.
The first person to see the stone has to pay an entrance fee, and then find two more people who will pay entrance fees as well as commission to that first visitor. Each of these visitors must then find two more people who will each pay commission and then find two more visitors each, and so on and so Forth.
“These are great, great days for American crisis manufacturing” said the Trumpster. “Of course, I am at the heart of this rise in crisis manufacturing and am very proud to have made true on my promise to have American crisis…es… es… es..? … 100% made by American people. i.e. me. Just me. No-one else.”