World News

Trump's Top 10 Ideas for Keeping Hurricanes out of America

Trump declares Hurricane Dorian as fake news after confusing it with Cuba on a map

September 6, 2019

Shortly after Mr Trump was shown the map he smugly noted that the hurricane image was actually the island country of Cuba. Although similar in shape to the hurricane, Cuba is in fact 300-400 miles south-west of the storm – which were almost the exact words of one of the President’s advisors. But this advice was drowned out by shouts of, “Fake news”, at least three times.

Some bullets are just too fatal says Walmart

“Some bullets are just too fatal” says Walmart

September 5, 2019

Americans will just have to accept the fact that weapons of mass destruction are no longer part of their weekly grocery shop. But, don’t despair America, you can still buy bullets that will kill anything…just not quite as fast.

Trump blames video games for violent rise in people 'smashing bricks to get precious coins'

Trump blames video games for violent rise in people ‘smashing bricks to get precious coins’.

September 5, 2019

“You’ve got kids today, jumping into bricks and getting precious, shiny coins from inside.
They’re imitating these Mario Brothers-not even American, not even born here by the way. They think they can just jump into a brick and a coin will pop out. Not true, not true at all OK. But more and more kids think this is the Mushroom Kingdom, and they can just jump into a brick to get a coin.”