The Royals

Queen Elizabeth SICK of everyone bitching behind her back

Queen gives Prince William new title of ‘Favourite Grandson’

January 27, 2020

In a statement The Queen said, ‘Henceforth, the talented and handsome Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, second heir to the throne, dedicated air ambulance pilot and all round top bloke, will be known as “Favourite Grandson” and will be entitled to wealth and riches worthy of someone who isn’t a turncoat and a traitor to his royal roots.’

Daily Mail ready to turn country against new Labour leader for once having Heinz beans rather than supermarket own brand

Mail on Sunday forks out £500,000 for Big Ben Megxit Celebration

January 21, 2020

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are to step back from Royal duties with almost immediate effect In reaction, the weekend children’s publication, ‘The Mail on Sunday’ has immediately thrown in £500,000 to the restoration program of Big Ben in order that its readers can celebrate Megxit in style, with a full round of the Westminster Chimes to coincide with the moment The Duke of Sussex’s plane touching down in Canada.

Unemployment figures rise again as London Firm announce two more job losses

Unemployment figures rise again as London Firm announce two more job losses.

January 20, 2020

No worries though for Diamond Geezer Harry Boy he’s already touting his wife to Disney for voice overs of reboots of The Non-Aristocats..The Prince and The Pauper, plus the one all Hollywood is talking about the blockbuster of a movie made at a staggering cost of £2.4million… The Princess and The Frog-more Cottage.

UK police defend blocking investigations into Prince Andrew, say it's 'standard protocol' to hang investigation files from a thin piece of string over flaming garbage can

“It’s standard protocol to hang files from thin pieces of string over flaming garbage cans” explain Police Chief who blocked Prince Andrew investigations.

January 20, 2020

UK police have blocked a legal bid to trace Prince Andrew’s bodyguards’ movements on the night he allegedly had sex with an underage girl. The police have defended accusations of being ‘lazy’ or even covering up for the Prince, by stating that it is standard protocol to hang all sensitive documents by a thin piece of string over a garbage can fire.

Harry loses HRH after royal game of Scrabble goes to shit

Harry loses HRH after royal game of Scrabble goes to shit

January 19, 2020

Prince Harry has lost his HRH. After a royal game of Scrabble went to absolute shit. Harry will no longer formally represent The Queen. The monarch was said to be ‘disappointed’ after Harry failed to make use of his last three letters – U, N and T’ when a C was ‘blatantly available’.