This marks the first-time members of the Royal family have visited Cuba in an official capacity. As well as the first time they’ve entered a country and not immediately attempted to invade it. Which they could have tried, as there was two of them.
A maid at Highgrove House confirmed that she had indeed donated one of her kidneys to the Prince’s new venture “As Charlie said, who needs two kidneys? I mean, he does because he’s going to be King, but generally most people don’t need both. I am proud to have certified organic organs. If the day comes that Prince Philip finally gets me with his car, I hope the rest of me goes to a good home.”
Charles explained that yoga classes had “tremendous social benefits” and that they built “discipline, self-reliance and self-care” which would reduce peoples need for treatment… and that, once people have built up their discipline and self-reliance they would be ready to tackle Marie Kondo’s de-cluttering techniques. Which, if applied correctly will increase the space in British homes to such and extent that we wont need to build anymore!
The Crown Prosecution Service has decided that Prince Philip, 97, will not be facing prosecution over his crash near the Sandringham estate that left one woman with a broken wrist. They haven’t, however, closed all of the Duke of Edinburgh’s case files just yet. Here are 8 things Prince Phillip still could – and should – be arrested for.
“The interfering bastards can’t complain about that, surely,” said the Duke, “No emergency stops in the air, eh?” The Duke continued, “I like to do aerobatics, especially low level loops above King’s Lynn’s schools and hospitals. With 200 gallons of fuel on board and a few stiff drinks inside me to steady my nerves, what could possibly go wrong?”.
Midwifery experts have revealed that the Duchess of Sussex may have Hyper-mobility Syndrome (loosened ligaments), which could mean a shorter pregnancy. But a statement from Brussels states that until midnight on the 29th of March, the UK must adhere to strict EU regulations, and Her Royal Highness must ensure that until then, her thumbs remain as naturally straight as possible.
The ex-PM’’s messages all say ‘Love Tony’ with smiley faces as the ‘o’s and range from everyday chit-chat, like: “Let’s do fairtrade coffee!”, “Snapchat me!” and “I like what you’ve done with your hair”, to messages with overtly political themes: “Jeremy’s an idiot!”, “I was acting on information” and “I can do a bloomin’ good Maybot”.
The Duke of Edinburgh has written to apologise for his role in a car crash in which a woman broke…