Sport

Nike announces “smart” trainers that constantly adapt to your foot. Optional parental lock gives mum and dad the option literally ground their kids

Nike announces “smart” trainers that constantly adapt to your foot. Optional parental lock gives mum and dad the option to literally ground their kids.

January 18, 2019

Nike are planning to roll out this technology to the other products in its range: a sports vest that becomes tighter if you simply eat more food, tennis racquets that expand to an enormous size as unreachable shots come towards you and a headband that turns into a balaclava if your smartphone gyroscope detects you’re holding a sawn-off shotgun.

Breaking News: Football’s not coming home after all…

July 12, 2018

As Gareth Southgate’s England team crash out of the World Cup – football isn’t coming home after all. It turned out that playing a team who could actually play football was a step too far for Southgate’s brave young band of multi-millionaires.