Thousands of camouflaged gun owners have gathered in Richmond, Virginia in a show of armed strength. The heavily-armed, camo-clad members of gun-rights and militia groups have been federalised by President Trump to form earth’s first non-terrestrial terrestrial military unit: Space Force.
Science and Tech
Greta Thunberg changes Twitter name to “FactCheckUK”
January 4, 2020Greta Thunberg has changed her name on Twitter, in honour of a game show contestant who appeared to have no idea who she was.
Polar Bear Spotted With “Get Brexit Done” sprayed on its side
December 4, 2019Footage shared on social media in Russia of a polar bear with “T-34” spray-painted in black on its side has alarmed experts. This is the second such curious sighting this week, after earlier eye witness accounts of a Polar Bear with the increasingly tired phrase “Get Brexit Done” sprayed on its flank
World lost 75 species whilst waiting for Greta’s boat to get across the fucking Atlantic!
December 4, 2019Greta Thunberg; the environmental equivalent of Joan of Arc arrived in Portugal after a slowly sailing across the Atlantic in boat whilst simultaneously preaching about the ‘urgency’ of the climate crisis.
Climate Change Outlook Bleak – as CO2 Emissions SURGE due to Burning Manifestos
November 27, 2019‘Homeless Alf’ from ‘on the street,’ Dulwich commented, “They’re no good as bog paper ‘cos they’re varnished. But you can get a decent blaze out of them, Labour’s is the best ‘cos it comes with a little grey book. There’s enough to boil a kettle and cook up some aitch with it.”
Genius who invented ideal delivery system for lies and misinformation not clever enough to realise immoral rich people would use it for lies and misinformation
November 26, 2019Sir Tim Berners-Lee has launched the Contract for the Web, a set of principles designed to “fix” the internet and prevent us from sliding into a “digital dystopia”.
Decision on Huawei running 5G in UK delayed until after election, so the Chinese know who to bribe.
November 2, 2019An inscrutable spokesperson for the Chinese telecoms giant, Won Hung Lo, said, “We are not in the least bothered by this government’s decision to postpone. It makes sense. It hasn’t been easy dealing with the UK with all this Brexit nonsense. But we’re prepared to bide our time. Once the election is over it will be much clearer for us. We will know for certain who we have to bung.”
Bus-Sized ‘Fatberg’ Cleared From London Sewer Thought to be Tom Watson’s Left Butt Cheek
October 30, 2019When Watson was approached for a comment he was adamant that the fatty-shite was nothing to do with him. “If you’re looking for its owner, answer me this,” snapped Watson, “When did anyone last see Eric Pickles?”
Updated 737 “has some new gadgets and stuff” and will “probably be fine” say Boeing
October 24, 2019Kicking the wheel of the plane, Boeing boss Dennis Muilenburg said, ‘Yeah I reckon we’ll get it off the ground. I mean it’s got wings so it’s bound to fly innit? If not, we’ll just run it off a cliff and see what happens. And once we get it in the air I reckon it’ll probably get there. ’
Electric Cars could get green number plates to make it easier for Eco-Warrior Car Thieves to spot them
October 23, 2019Drivers of zero-emission vehicles could be given green number plates to make it easier for them to benefit from schemes designed to promote cleaner cars.“This is terrific news,” said a spokesman for a caravan of new age car-stealing crusties, Dreadlock Stig,
