“I can’t think of a current bigger threat to the well-being of the American people than if those images become publicly available.” When asked if he was referring to nude photos of the President, the spokesman said, “I couldn’t possible comment on the nature of the allegedly extremely graphic, multi-pose, sometimes close-up sometimes panoramic images,” while winking furiously.
Science and Tech
Wikipedia says it has been blocked in China since April – world refuses to believe them unless they cite a credible source
May 15, 2019Wikipedia have added this information to their website. Unfortunately, the page cites itself as the source, causing browsers that attempt to access it to go into an infinite loop.
Hackers exploit WhatsApp for surveillance, revealing shocking revelation that ‘the weather’s not that bad for this time of year’.
May 14, 2019The attack was discovered earlier this month, and a fix rolled out on Friday. On Monday WhatsApp urged all of their 1.5bn users to update their apps. A spokesman for the company said, ‘All agencies now have all the information they need to know about users so we thought if was time to look like we care.’
Eco Threat or Nature’s Own Packaging? Plastic Found Growing in Deepest Point of the Ocean
May 14, 2019This marks the first time plastic, previously thought to be a man-made product, has been found growing in its natural environment. The discovery could revolutionise the way humanity looks at waste and recycling.
USA forges ahead with ambitious plans for new world-ending plague of measles.
May 10, 2019Measles was declared eliminated in the USA in the year 2,000, with this year having the highest number of confirmed cases since then. Supporters of The Plague Plan argue that this shows just how much can be done with previously eliminated diseases in a short amount of time when you have the right marketing campaign.
Google to offer ‘auto delete history’ option. Pornhub expected to be major beneficiary.
May 3, 2019Google expect the new tools to be available ‘in the coming weeks.’ Many Pornhub subscribers have criticised Google saying they need to be more specific, as for them every week’s a coming week.
Passengers at Luton Airport to be asked challenging riddle before being allowed to fly.
April 30, 2019In the wake of the UK’s busiest airport, Heathrow, introducing facial recognition technology from this summer, the UK’s most disappointing airport, Luton, has announced that they will be asking challenging riddles to their passengers and those that fail to answer correctly will be refused travel.
Parkinson’s Implant a partial success. Patient can walk – but now won’t stop banging on about George Best, Muhammad Ali and Barnsley.
April 24, 2019A woman from London Ontario is amongst many Parkinson Decease sufferers who have benefited from a revolutionary electronic implant that has improved their movement. However there are some disturbing, unreported side-effects.
Scientists partially revive pig’s brain after death; David Cameron worried a certain pig might now tell it’s side of the story.
April 17, 2019It is hoped that the unfortunate pig in question might be able to shed some light as to how it ended up being shafted by a Tory, which let’s be honest, we’ve all experience at some point, if not quite to the literal extent the pig was.
“I definitely don’t exist and you’ve definitely not got a photo of my arsehole,” angry God warns Black Hole paparazzi
April 15, 2019God has today warned scientists that they need to remember that, as far as they are concerned, he doesn’t exist in any dimension and therefore they should stop using their huge telescopes to photograph his most private moments.
