Politics

7 reasons other EU countries definitely give a shit about Brexit

January 18, 2019

The Italian government is preparing a gastronomic repatriation scheme – because of the sheer number of Italian chefs who face the prospect of losing jobs in UK restaurants and being sent home Penne-less. Germany has finally developed a national sense of humour – after two years watching the incompetence of the British administration, they now understand the meaning of the word ‘joke’.

Reasons Post-Apocalyptic Post-Brexit Britain will be Great

7 reasons why life in post-Brexit, post-apocalyptic dystopian Britain is still going to be GREAT. (Number 3 will… well, number 3 will basically just function as adequate clickbait. Read the article – it’s full of jokes!)

January 17, 2019

Theresa May narrowly survived the vote of no confidence – and now has less than a week to come up with a plan for a problem she couldn’t fix when she had two years. That brings the post-apocalyptic, post-Brexit dystopian future that we’ve all been joking about one huge step closer to becoming a reality. But it’s not all doom and gloom.

Theresa May seeks cross-party Brexit consensus. “You should have done this two years ago!” screams Britain

Theresa May seeks cross-party Brexit consensus. “You should have done this two years ago!” screams Britain.

January 17, 2019

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has refused to join talks unless the threat of a no-deal exit is ruled out. Hang on, isn’t that just the sort of thing he should be talking to the Prime Minister about? Instead, Corbyn has chosen to lock himself in the bathroom, hoping that Theresa May starts knocking on the door saying, “Come downstairs Jeremy, I’ve made you your favourite – bland, colourless chicken with the spine removed.”

As shutdown leaves White House with no catering staff, Trump orders in enough McDonalds to feed 5,000. Instantly proclaims miracle, and declares himself better than Jesus

As shutdown leaves White House with no catering staff, Trump orders in enough McDonald’s to feed 5000. Instantly proclaims miracle, and declares himself better than Jesus.

January 16, 2019

He welcomed the winners of the national college football championship, the Clemson Tigers, with more than 300 burgers as well as fries and pizzas. Trump shared images with his followers, making note that he had millions more than Jesus ever had and that the son of God’s social media presence was ‘sad, like really sad’.