The United States Supreme Court has allowed President Donald Trump to enforce his policy of recruiting thousands of extra transgender banjo players for the military. Unsurprisingly the four piece quartet of liberal judges on the court opposed the ruling in close harmony.
The move by the appliance maker means two executives will relocate – chief financial officer Jorn Jensen and chief technical officer Martin Bowen. The company had insisted that no jobs will be lost. Although given that Dyson products are manufactured in Malaysia, the only jobs still based in the UK are those of Sir James Dyson’s housekeeper – an elderly lady on minimum wage called Mabel – and a guard dog called Winston.
This time around the pair won’t be talking about nuclear disarmament. Trump’s just looking for some advice on how to get his own government back in line and end the current shutdown. Kim Jong Un is the leading expert on how to handle shutdowns – having shut down freedom of speech, freedom of movement, and freedom of the thoughts you have when you’re just drifting off to sleep but feel you might need the loo.
She’s meeting with as many MPs as she can in the meantime. She’s effectively speed dating. But whereas a regular singleton might be looking for ‘the one’, Mrs May is just looking for ‘anyone’. Anyone to back her new plan Bonus points if they’ve got any ideas as to what that new plan should entail – because she’s stumped.