UK Politics

Early heatwave may be delayed due to Brexit red-tape

Early heatwave may be delayed due to Brexit red-tape

March 25, 2019

Weather experts are predicting a three-month heatwave next month that could see temperatures climb to 26 degrees as a warm front drifts in from Africa.
But, in order for it get to the UK it must pass over Northern Europe which could spell a disaster as it is held up in Brexit red-tape.

Sam Allardyce to take over as caretaker Prime Minister

Sam Allardyce to take over as caretaker Prime Minister

March 25, 2019

‘There’s been too much namby pamby pi*sing about for my liking. I didn’t haul Everton out of the regulation quagmire by having a series of indicative votes or by asking for the season to be extended so I could get Phil Jagielka to support my way of doing things. I did it by hoofing the ball up to a big target man and getting stuck in. These fancy dan foreigners don’t like it up ‘em. Arsene Wenger didn’t like it and neither will Barnier or Juncker’.

MPs to vote on Uri Geller’s Brexit plan

MPs to vote on Uri Geller’s Brexit plan

March 23, 2019

‘I can confirm that a motion has been tabled that psychic means should be used to try and prevent Britain leaving the EU’ said Speaker of the House of Commons John Bercow. ‘It’s quite clear to anyone with half a brain that attempting to stop Brexit using the transmission of information by extrasensory means is complete bollocks, but in the absence of any more sensible suggestions I propose we give it a try’.