Theresa May is due to leave Number 10 next week. However, due to a lack of planning, she’s requested an extension to the 31st October.
“My vision, for a post-Brexit Britain, is one where smoked fish based food poisoning is just not just the affliction of royalty and the upper-middle classes, but a condition freely available to the whole populous.”, waffled the leading contender in the most one-sided competition since the US Ladies football team beat Thailand 13-0.
Conjoined twin girls who were joined at the head have been separated in ground-breaking surgery at Great Ormond Street Hospital. Medical Science will now perform miraculous new surgery to conjoin President Donald Trump and PM-elect Boris Johnson to see if a single entity makes any more sense than the nonsensical constituent parts.