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Tories to ensure 50% less immigration by sawing immigrants in half!

Tories to ensure 50% less immigration by sawing immigrants in half!

November 15, 2019

The blues have come up with a rather novel approach to immigration. All immigrants are to be sawn in half on arrival in the UK thus halving immigration. This has immediately been criticised by the right as it will double the number of immigrants. But the Conservative centre allay these fears by pointing out that sawing in half is, in most cases, fatal.

Hospital waiting times hit record levels, as staff have to make the daily commute from Europe.

Hospital waiting times hit record levels, as staff have to make the daily commute from Europe.

November 15, 2019

Many trained professionals in the NHS have left Britain during the past 3 years of Brexit discussions, due to bigotry, deportation, or a general fear for the ‘moral fly tipping site’ the country has become. These foreign staff are still employed by the NHS however, much to the Conservative party’s smouldering outrage, and as such make the commute from their respective home countries.