Health secretary Matt Hancock has tested positive for coronavirus. However, fears that other members of the cabinet may fall victim to the pandemic have been eased by Home Secretary Priti Patel bullying the virus as she took it’s dinner money, before giving it a wedgie.
Health, Lifestyle and Family
The Conservative government has put measures in place to restrict everyone to ‘leave home once a day’, for exercise, essential shopping and going to a place of work, only if vital. However, these free-market, libertarian economic principles are allowing agoraphobics to demand sky high prices from claustrophobics for their single daily occurrence of getting out the house.
The Chancellor Rishi Sunak announced “unprecedented” package of measures that would see companies receive grants to pay their PAYE workers 80% of their salaries However for the self-employed and those not covered by the package, the Government has advised the watching of the 2016 Ken Loach movie “I, Daniel Blake” to familiarise those wishing to take advantage of more generous Universal Credit qualifications and other state benefit packages.