Unconfirmed reports from the music industry this morning suggest that a song may have been discovered which has yet to be ruined by attention seeking arseholes.
Entertainment, Art & Culture
Blue Peter to show NHS staff how to make ventilators out of washing-up bottles and sticky back plastic
April 4, 2020To help frontline NHS staff in their battle against the coronavirus presenter from the 1970s Lesley Judd will present a series of online tutorials showing staff how to make protective face masks using an empty yoghurt pot, some string and an old pair of Y-fronts.
“Have Money, and Don’t Be Poor” say celebs, offering isolation advice
March 25, 2020Struggling to get your head around coronavirus? Stuck in isolation? Worried about lockdown? This is your all inclusive guide to…
Method acting gone too far, as Casualty and Holby City come to aid of NHS
March 25, 2020It has been announced that Casualty and Holby City will donate equipment from their sets to the NHS to help out during the Coronavirus crisis. Nobody has yet questioned if equipment from make believe land is suitable in a real life medical environment.
Teachers opening last-minute ‘End Of Year’ presents to find dog biscuits and own-brand cheese sauce granules.
March 22, 2020England’s schools closed yesterday after directives from the government to protect from the coronavirus. Teachers were presented with last-minute gifts; in many cases, the only things parents could get hold of in stores with completely empty shelves
BBC to keep nation entertained by showing nightly footage of deserted Albert Square
March 22, 2020The Director General had reassured fans that a complete cessation of production won’t prevent new episodes of the soap airing each night on BBC One. “EastEnders will continue to reflect British society. This means that spooky footage of an abandoned Albert Square will be broadcast for half an hour every evening. We may add the odd corpse or perhaps a feverish resident staggering about screaming for help which will never come – it really depends on how things progress in the real world.”
Piers Morgan and Jacob-Rees Mogg clash in TV Twat-Off
March 20, 2020Piers Morgan and Jacob Rees-Mogg clashed in a Twat-Off to determine which of the two is the biggest twat. The…
BBC Premier League highlights 2020/21 to consist of 38 repeats of Mrs Brown’s Boys
March 19, 2020Match of the Day is not on for the foreseeable future, after games were postponed until at least April due to the spread of the coronavirus. The BBC instead has and will continue to screen repeats of Mrs Brown’s Boys.
Coronavirus ‘too depressing’ for Eastenders
March 19, 2020The BBC has postponed filming of Eastenders until further notice. The news comes after the shows’ producers said that Coronoavirus is ‘too depressing even for a show which is based solely on dodgy cockney accents, angry grunting and more family fall outs than even the royals can muster.’
PM says over 70s should only leave house for walks; must be kept on lead at all times
March 17, 2020In his first daily briefing on Coronavirus, Boris Johnson told over 70s to self-isolate and only leave the house to go for walk. Adding they should be kept on a lead at all times while outside.
