ITV is to offer this year’s Love Island contestants eight therapy sessions when they return home from the show. The…
Entertainment, Art & Culture
Bill Murray to star as Prime Minster in ‘Groundhog May’
May 22, 2019Mr Murray admitted he has reservations, “Even though I’m the go-to person for a film where things repeat again and again, I’m still finding the constant return of this Withdrawal Bill tedious to the point of watching a Dan Ackroyd film.
Alabama refuses to show cartoon wedding because the characters getting married weren’t related
May 22, 2019Alabama Public Television (APT) has refused to broadcast a cartoon which shows a same-sex wedding. The first episode of the 22nd series of children’s programme Arthur features the character Mr Ratburn marrying his aardvark partner, Patrick. The US broadcaster is said to object to the wedding due to the characters not being related, making it a most unusual Alabama wedding indeed!
New series of Bodyguard promises to be ultra realistic with thrilling milkshake climax
May 21, 2019It’s believed the story-line will centre on a desperate game of cat-and-mouse by the police to thwart a plot to chuck milkshake over one of the country’s leading political figures.
‘The Victorians’ – Rees-Mogg releases sex tape to bolster Leadership Bid
May 21, 2019Part sex-tape, part manifesto – in the two-part DVD he’ll show viewers how to make whoopee in the bedroom the Victorian way – with the minimum of fuss, and the minimum of contact.
Madonna off her tits in Tel Aviv
May 20, 2019Madonna wore a patch over her eye in support of all one eyed fuck wits while she bored a waiting TV audience of millions, who already felt, despite being sober, they were sniffing glue and doing acid and checking to see if Australia had joined Europe. Many felt the Queen of Pop was out her tree.
Madonna’s Eye Patch to go solo
May 20, 2019“I was promised much more involvement on the album”, the eye patch said. “A duet was mooted at one point and several of my poems were being considered for lyrics. I now know that was all bluff and I was just wanted for my physically appearance. I feel so violated”
Game of Thrones Season 8 an overhyped disappointment. “We know how you feel!” say Leavers, Remainers, and anyone who’s ever met Boris Johnson.
May 17, 2019A petition calling on HBO to redo the series has been signed by more than 500,000 disgruntled fans. In a statement HBO told petitioners to ‘stop moaning’ and said, ‘you can’t redo something just because you don’t like the result.’
Jeremy Kyle to undergo live “Lie Detector Test” to prove his devastation
May 16, 2019Jeremy Kyle has said he is “devastated” following the death of a guest and cancellation of his TV show. Surprisingly, many question the truth of thee statements of the ITV ‘star’ who is on a contract of £2M year.
Madonna hits back at claims she’s “too old” by adding extra dates to the Chelsea Flower Show leg of her tour.
May 16, 2019Madonna’s performance at the Eurovision Song Contest in Israel has been thrown into doubt after organisers claimed she is yet to sign a contract. The veteran American pop star, who says she is being “punished” for turning 30 again, claimed she will sign, as soon as she finds her glasses.
