This weekend we asked you to nominate UNFUNNY subjects you think it should be (almost) IMPOSSIBLE for our writers to…
Ryanair also won in 2014. Against tough competition from Malaysia Airlines, who still have no idea what happened to Flight MH370 and all its passengers. It was a close call, with Malaysia Airlines only losing out after Ryanair’s lawyers pointed out that the route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing is 414km over the definition of a short-haul flight.
The Southern 1514 Victoria to Brighton service which departed on 7th July 2001 and which has been stuck on a siding ever since. The problem is believed to be a loose carriage window that refuses to remain closed. Passengers’ relatives have been assured that the engineers have been called and the issue is expected to be resolved shortly.
The biggest selling physical CD of the year was That’s What I Call Music 101! Which sounds like a beginner’s course in the popular Various Artists compilations. Shrinking shelf space in supermarkets contributed to the slowdown. That, and there’s less tall people to ask you to get the CDs off the higher shelves.
The bags’ tea-trapping mesh sides are sealed using a new plant-based agent, which is ‘misbehaving’ and can no longer be relied upon for giving a clear brew. Or a Clear Blue. “We are sensitive to the needs of our valued customers and propose a solution be actioned without delay. As from tomorrow our tea will be packaged in single-use perforated condoms. But not ones in those jazzy day-glo colours, that would be disgusting.”
The human organ had been used as a prop in the music video for ‘You Said Our Love was First Class, So Why’s My Heart Always Riding In Coach’. Darnella Dimple explains: “We borrowed an actual heart to use as a metaphor for a real heart, we just forgot to take it back. Oh, and our drummer forgot his sticks too”.
Barclays has become the first High Street bank to allow its customers to “switch off” certain categories of spending. The original idea was to help vulnerable customers, particularly problem gamblers, or those in serious debt. However, a number of customers – primarily men – have chosen to switch off other types of spending such as spending time with their wife and kids or spending a penny so they can get a good night’s sleep.
On the same day the UK Pound falls to its lowest value in two years in the midst of a…
After an embarrassing day of disruption, telephony giant O2 has finally managed to get its data network back online. After…