Coca Cola will not ditch single use plastics. The firm’s head of sustainability, Bea Perez said, ‘Fuck the planet.’ She acknowledged that polar ice caps melting and bush fires in Australia are ‘inconvenient’ but said she couldn’t see how they are ‘worse than having a bottle without a screw top lid.’
“The Thunberg crap is selling faster than we can knock it out,” boasted the Greta merchandise franchise owner, Mr. R Thurdaley, “We’re having to have this shit flown in specially from China to meet demand. We’re shipping truckloads of the stuff all over the country. It’s costing me a fortune in diesel but the profit is phenomenal.