Business

Ryanair voted least-liked airline for 6th year running. Most-liked (with zero complaints, and also zero planes) - Seaborne Flights.

Ryanair voted least-liked airline for 6th year running. Most-liked – with zero complaints, and also zero planes – Seaborne Flights.

January 6, 2019

Ryanair also won in 2014. Against tough competition from Malaysia Airlines, who still have no idea what happened to Flight MH370 and all its passengers. It was a close call, with Malaysia Airlines only losing out after Ryanair’s lawyers pointed out that the route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing is 414km over the definition of a short-haul flight.

Yorkshire Tea admit their bags are no longer reliable for making a brew. Or for use as make-shift contraceptives.

December 20, 2018

The bags’ tea-trapping mesh sides are sealed using a new plant-based agent, which is ‘misbehaving’ and can no longer be relied upon for giving a clear brew. Or a Clear Blue. “We are sensitive to the needs of our valued customers and propose a solution be actioned without delay. As from tomorrow our tea will be packaged in single-use perforated condoms. But not ones in those jazzy day-glo colours, that would be disgusting.”

Barclays customers can now ‘switch off’ types of spending. Men switch off ‘spending time with the wife and kids’.

December 11, 2018

Barclays has become the first High Street bank to allow its customers to “switch off” certain categories of spending. The original idea was to help vulnerable customers, particularly problem gamblers, or those in serious debt. However, a number of customers – primarily men – have chosen to switch off other types of spending such as spending time with their wife and kids or spending a penny so they can get a good night’s sleep.