Business

M&S clothing sales slide as more pensioners become full time nudists

M&S clothing sales slide as more pensioners become full time nudists

November 7, 2019

Marks and Spencer profits dropped in the first half of its financial year following a sharp fall in demand for its clothing line. This fall has come directly from pensioners refusing to buy any clothes and brandishing their nude bodies in city centres across the UK. Previously, pensioners had flirted with nudism in their own shower or the swimming pool changing rooms. The current warm climate has encouraged many old people to take the next step into making it a full-time role.

Decision on Huawei Involvement in UK 5G Delayed Until After Election So They’ll Know Who To Bribe

 Decision on Huawei running 5G in UK delayed until after election, so the Chinese know who to bribe.

November 2, 2019

An inscrutable spokesperson for the Chinese telecoms giant, Won Hung Lo, said, “We are not in the least bothered by this government’s decision to postpone. It makes sense. It hasn’t been easy dealing with the UK with all this Brexit nonsense. But we’re prepared to bide our time. Once the election is over it will be much clearer for us. We will know for certain who we have to bung.”