Cameron Memoir: Boris WAS the pig’s head

UK Politics
Cameron Memoir- Boris WAS the pig's head

Brexit inventor David Cameron is feeling rather sorry for himself this week.

In an attempt to deflect blame for turning UK PLC into UK D.O.A. he has launched a scathing attack on his old school friend.

Aside from criticisms about the suspension of parliament he went on to point out that rumours about him ejaculating into the mouth of a dead pig as a youth were not only true, but in fact the pig was none other than our current Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

David Cameron: Johnson behaved ‘appallingly’

It’s unclear how many other members of the Bullingdon Club ‘received’ Mr Cameron’s apparatus over the years, but according to his memoirs, the moment Boris got his chops around it was memorable for all the wrong reasons.

Witnesses to the event clearly remember jovially shouting  ‘Leave’ or ‘Remain’ as matters progressed.

Presumably Boris was firmly in the ‘Leave’ camp, hoping that at some point this thing would be withdrawn from his throat.

But Mr Cameron implies that, rather than him making the pig suffer, it was Mr Johnson’s behaviour that was ‘appalling’.

Mr Cameron criticised Mr Johnson’s strategy for dealing with Brexit

Cameron is very bitter about Boris’s handing of Brexit.

His exit strategy seems particularly upsetting and this apparently stems from the fact that the exit strategy which brought matters to a conclusion during ‘pig-gate’ was a firm upper cut to the knackers followed by an abject refusal to share a cigarette afterwards.

In response to the accusations Boris said ‘I find the whole thing difficult to swallow, which makes his early withdrawal all the more disappointing!’

Apparently Cameron also said some stuff about Michael Gove but, like the rest of the UK, who gives a fuck about that?

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