British Airways offers series of ‘replacement zeppelins’ and ‘taking it in turns with a hang glider’ to offset impact of strikes

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British Airways offers series of 'replacement zeppelins' and 'taking it in turns with a hang glider' to offset impact of strikes

All British Airways outbound flights from Heathrow and Gatwick have been grounded by the pilots’ strike for a second day.

BA, scrambling to make up for delays and cancellations, have taken measures to ensure a series of ‘replacement services’ are available.

They have borrowed some decommissioned zeppelins from various War and aerospace Museums and will have them fly to their Europe based destinations.

A BA spokesperson said: “Passengers travelling to France will be part of an exciting, replacement Zeppelin service. 20 of them will soar in a majestic airship, and arrive in Europe in a leisurely 7 to 10 hour trip. No time at all!”

BA have issued an announcement that any Elderly residents should remain indoors, lest they experience trauma at seeing German Airships over London.

A 24-hour stoppage is also planned for Friday 27 September.

CFO Stephen William said the airline is making plans to prepare for this stoppage.

“It’s fine. My mate Niall, his uncle Steff owns a 2 man hang glider. Steff is going to take passengers in shifts from London to France, and maybe even Germany if he’s had a big breakfast. He’ll jump off a control tower and soar to Paris.
Should take what…45 minutes there and back? Half an hour if the wind is good.
For in flight entertainment Steff has a game boy colour, and for snacks he’ll bring a packet of Fridge Raiders and some Murray Mints.”

The current strikes have cost the airline up to £50m in lost revenue and additional costs.

BA have announced that in order to recoup any losses, they will announce a new onboard amenity for passengers.
Anybody who was affected by the strikes, can, for a small fee, have Pilots personally apologise to them over the intercom system. For a further fee, passengers can have the pilot literally come out of the cockpit, where they will be able to publically insult them about their ‘cancelled flight to Magaluf’ for up to 30 seconds.

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