Health Secretary Matt Hancock has said that the risk of the Chinese Coronavirus entering the UK ‘remains low’.
Fascist political organisation Britain First have ignored these reports, and said they are not taking any chances with a ‘foreign’ virus entering the country. Members of the party have been patrolling the coastlines of the country, armed with dettol wipes, spray bottles of cif, and water pistols full of Cillit bang.
Britain first leader and answer to the question ‘ What If a sausage roll joined the Hitler Youth?’ Paul Golding released a statement from one of the beaches earlier today.
“We will not have foreign viruses illegally coming into this country and trying to mug off hard working, and proper English Diseases, like Man flu, Gout, and whatever killed them old writers back in the Victorian times.”
Golding then took ‘revenge’ on the virus, by burning some Jackie Chan DVDs, screaming profanities at a takeaway nearby, and promising to skip the entire ‘Wonders of Ancient China’ section the next time he visits The British Museum.
The group are certain that if any traces of the virus come near, they will be able to fight it off by throwing stones dipped in hand sanitiser, and spelling out racial epithets with dettol wipes.
The virus has now spread to Europe, with two cases confirmed in France.
Britain first have sent their condolences to everybody in the country, specifically “All the Ex-pats, British folks on Business trips, posh kids on school trips, and families from Birmingham going to Disneyland.”