Brexit vote delayed. “Not going to happen until you all stop being so mean!”, says May.

UK Politics

The Prime Minister has informed the House of Commons that the vote on one of the most important pieces of legislation to pass through Parliament in recent years: the Brexit bill, has been delayed.

And she’s not putting it back on the table until the cabinet get together and all take back the mean, mean words they said about her being a bad Prime Minister who can only get rubbish deals.

In addition, May insists Amber Rudd admits she’s a silly, stupid girl and spells out her resignation letter in Crispy M&Ms on Theresa’s desk.

And until all of her demands are met – she’s off shoe shopping in Brussels.

In what’s being referred to as the ‘Maybot Mutiny’, DWP Minister Amber Rudd went behind the PM’s back on Radio 4’s ‘Today’ programme and posited a plausible Plan B for Brexit if the PM was defeated in the vote.

As if the PM’s one-time-BFF being totally disrespectful behind her back wasn’t enough, May then discovered a large group of cabinet ministers in a circle – in the Commons’ common room – doing the Maybot. And even Michael Gove said that a locked and loaded Amber Rudd had the best moves in town.

As testimony to her steadfast resilience, the PM was discovered acting against her own wishes to leave by sitting in her office with her eyes closed, fingers in ears, refusing to budge.

“It would be in the best interests of this country if everyone just did as I said. Now, what time don’t I leave for Brussels?” she said.

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