Nigel Farage has unveiled the Brexit Party’s general election policies.
During his speech in London he promised ‘more of the same old shit’.
The party leader pledged to ‘stop giving money to bloody foreigners, get rid of institutions like the House of Lords which allow people to only turn up to work when it suits them but still get full pay, and set up an Australian style points system to make sure people I don’t like are outcast in the same way as the aborigines’.
Mr Farage accused the Conservatives of having ‘no intention’ of reducing immigration numbers.
But he said that he remains committed to ‘endlessly banging on about how immigrants are responsible for everything from failing public services to eating that Dairy Milk you had hidden at the back of the cupboard’.
He promised his party would save tens of billions of pounds by redirecting foreign aid, scrapping the HS2 rail project and stopping the UK’s contributions to the EU.
And that he would continue to peddle his crap on Youtube as it’s proved to be a great way to increase his personal wealth over the years.
Other pledges include ‘free broadband for families with a proper British surname, white cliffs at all ports and Spitfires to shoot down budget flights coming into the UK…oh and no tax on fags and booze’.