General election 2019: Brexit Party will not stand in Tory seats
The Brexit party will not stand in the 317 existing Tory seats for the coming election, they’re calling it tactics but the truth is rather more specific.
They have run out of cunts.
There are, it seems, a limited number of cunts in the UK and most of them are mates with Nigel Farage.
But even this nest of dilberts is not enough to contest every seat in the house.
Perhaps we should qualify this, when we say Cunt, you might well be thinking that your grandfather is a Cunt, or your mate, or even your dog (Disclaimer: I once saw someone call their dog a Cunt in Camber Sands)
But they’re not real cunts, not the weapons grade breed of hyper-bellend that hangs out with the Brexit party, an organisation so far removed from humanity that they’re now ranked fourth, behind Bonobos.
Mr Farage has come up with some old chat about how they’re helping the Tories keep their seats, despite having wankered on the other day about how Boris’s deal is not Brexit and therefore he’s a Cunt.
The Brexiteers are still going to stand in all the Labour constituencies, hence drawing votes away from the Tories hoping win a majority, so that’s not really helping them is it?
What kind of dumb Cunt thinks like that?
All in all the the lack of cuntage is screwing the Tories and the Brexit party royally.
So, we maybe leaving Europe, destroying the planet and making all the cute little squidgy animal rare.
But we can all sleep well in our beds knowing that real cunts are rarer than pine martens and after the election they may even be close to extinction.