Brexit negotiations enter the ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ stage!

Popular Right Now, UK Politics
Brexit negotiations enter the 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' stage

Narrow path to deal at EU summit, says Barnier

So they say it’s possible, now they’ve got just two days to iron out the difficulties.

Problem is that nobody can agree on anything, it’s written somewhere in the European Constitution that agreeing is not allowed or severely frowned upon.

Besides, nobody has seen the constitution document since the 90’s and rumour has it that Nigel Farage burned it.

Nothing for it, roll up your sleeves folks and try your luck, yes that’s right, the two sides will be using the age old political procedure of ‘Rock, Paper & Scissors’ to decide.

Nothing new here of course.

This his how they decided to behead Charles 1st, catapult the princes in the tower into the Thames, force Edward VIII to abdicate and narrowly avoid making Sooty prime minister in 2004.

The actual process involves Michel Barnier reading out a list of clauses while members of the two delegations battle with rock, paper, scissors to decide what is in and what is out.

There is “positive momentum” but there are “many hurdles” left to overcome.

Yup, you’ve guessed it, they will also be performing other sports including hurdles.

Now we know why Rees-Mogg is still in the cabinet, he’s bloody tall and hurdles are right up his street.

There’s also talk of a pissing competition between Boris Johnson and Emmanuel Macron and something that involves carrying Angel Merkel up a hill and over obstacles.

They’re expected to have thrashed out the whole deal by the end of Today using this tried and tested method.

One wonders why we didn’t do this instead of a referendum in the first place to be honest.

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