Brexit in doubt as VAR rules it a ‘clear and obvious error’

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Brexit in doubt as VAR rules it a 'clear and obvious error'

Boris Johnson’s plans to leave the EU on the 31st October have been thrown into doubt after VAR ruled Brexit is a ‘clear and obvious error’.

The Prime Minister has been clear that he intends to take the UK out by 31st October with or without a deal and has been visiting EU leaders to discuss his future plans.

VAR controversially led to Man City’s late goal against Tottenham last Sunday being disallowed,

and it was brought into play again earlier this week after it picked up TV footage showing the words ‘Priti Patel: Home Secretary.

VAR spokesman, Bob Bobson said, ‘We reviewed the footage straight away as, clearly, those are four words which don’t belong together, and seen in slow motion there was an obvious deflection. As soon as I saw it I told the referee he’d have to check it himself and it took him a matter of seconds to establish that the cabinet so shaky even Argos wouldn’t stock it, was really just a way of deflecting headlines away from what a complete moron Boris Johnson is.’

The introduction of VAR has not been universally accepted with many fans worried that the use of technology disrupts the flow of the game and some asking where it will end.

Mr Bobson told us, ‘In this case we don’t know where it’ll end. Every time we review something, we find another clear and obvious error. We recently spent many hours reviewing footage from 2016 which appeared to show a double decker bus with some made up numbers and a vague promise emblazoned on the side of it, and we’ve now moved on to watching back all every episode of Question Time that included Nigel Farage. It’s unlikely we’ll get through them all before the end of October but we are in a position to confirm that so far 97% of what he said was in fact more made up figures mixed in with a load of racist drivel; the other 3% was just him asking crew members for a fag but in the interests of fairness we’re trying to make it look like not everything that comes out of mouth smells like a cow’s arse.’

With just over two months to go until Brexit, officials have said that it may have to be delayed further as the review has demonstrated that ‘whether you told the lies or just believed them, there’s absolutely no doubt that Brexit is a clear and obvious error.’

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