Boris vows to make ‘no progress’ at key meeting with Junker

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Boris vows to make 'no progress' at key meeting with Junker

UK will reject any delay offer, PM to tell Juncker

Today Boris jets off to Europe for yet another fruitless meeting where everyone is agreed that nobody will agree on anything.

Nothing will be achieved, all proposals will be thrown out of the window…and then they’ll enjoy a lovely lunch courtesy of the tax payer.

The Prime Minister said the would reject any kind of delay to Brexit, whilst chief Brexit negotiator Michel Barnier, who will also be attending, added there were ‘no reasons to be optimistic’.

Mr Junker has declined to comment but he did shrug disdainfully and say ‘pah!’

Well, this begs the question; why the fuck are you going to a meeting that is doomed to fail before it has even started?

This is unclear, what is clear is that this pointless meeting has been billed as a ‘crucial summit’.

“We will get there… I will be talking to Jean-Claude about how we’re going to do it. I’m very confident.” Boris Johnson

In a statement to the Mail on Sunday however, Boris appears to utterly contradict his earlier doom mongering.

Either he is such a skilled politician the he is somehow able to make progress in room full of people who have vowed to utterly reject every word uttered by everyone else.

Or he’s completely delusional and has no more right to call himself a politician than the Incredible Hulk.

Britain will break free of its ‘manacles’ from the EU like the Incredible Hulk – Boris Johnson

As we found out yesterday, Boris likens the UK’s struggle with the EU to the Hulk breaking free of chains (even though that was actually Hercules, a mistake made funnier by the fact that Boris read Classics at Oxford).

The difference being of course that nearly everyone disagrees with Boris, but nobody in their right mind would disagree with The Hulk.

Hulk Smash!

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