Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced a one-off cash boost of £1.8bn for NHS hospitals in England.
The promised cash equates to ‘a full five weeks’ worth of the Brexit Bonus Fund and will be paid by Paypal on 5th December.
It will be used to buy new equipment and upgrade 20 hospitals, but critics say the money falls short of the £6bn required to fix the existing NHS’ maintenance backlog.
Boris was quick to point out that simple maths shows that ‘every hospital in the land will be fully repaired and newly kitted out by the end of January’. He plans to follow this up with increased staff numbers, better pay, and Batmobiles instead of Vauxhall Astras for First Response Units.
Health think tank the Nuffield Trust said this latest funding pledge, which is less than 1% of NHS England’s annual budget, would only be a fraction of the real cost of upgrading 20 hospitals.’
Mr Johnson responded by asking, ‘If they’re so confident in their claim why haven’t they written it on the side of a bus?’
Nuffield Trust chairman, Nigel Edwards, did say it was encouraging to see money being put towards capital funding to ‘help stop hospitals deteriorating even further’,
Boris denied the deterioration in care standards was a result of austerity and said, ‘the blame for the decline in UK hospitals lies firmly with Jeremy Corbyn.’ Asked whether he had any proof of this he admitted he hadn’t but that ‘it’s the sort of thing people probably want to hear.’
Coming just days after the announcement of 20,000 extra police officers, Boris’ fans have praised the new PM’s commitment to improving public services.
Whilst those of a more intelligent disposition are questioning whether he’s just trying to out-waffle Belgium.