Boris petitions Google for the right to be forgotten. “Everything but the puppy story please!”

Science and Tech, UK Politics
Boris petitions Google for the right to be forgotten. Everything but the puppy story please!”

Google has won a court battle that could have forced it to take requests from around the world to wipe personal information from its search results.

Around the world’ in terms of Google’s court ruling, means anywhere outside of the European Union.

Which according to the Brexit plan being fronted by today’s Prime Minister, will mean the UK on the 1st of November.

Sh*t!

Boris Johnson’s decision to suspend Parliament for five weeks was unlawful, the Supreme Court has ruled.

With the Google court ruling in mind, the PM’s first job after being found guilty of committing an unlawful act was to politely petition the tech giant to make the whole sordid mess disappear.

Five years ago, judges in Luxembourg made it a requirement for Google to delete links that led to sensitive details if asked to do so after a case was brought by French privacy watchdog CNIL.

The company revealed in a report that it had removed 45% of the 3.3 million links it had been asked to remove, spanning more than 845,000 requests, since 2014.

Google responded by informing the PM that fulfilling his request to remove links to articles detailing his blunders, gaffes and outright lies pertaining to proroguing Parliament would take years.

However, the company did point out that upon completion of the PM’s request 14% of global storage capacity would be freed-up, and mainframe servers would operate 63% more efficiently, reducing the need for power to cool processors, therefore reducing carbon emissions.

Boris responded: “Better write to them again then, requesting anything from the days as a newspaper editor quietly fade away, too.

“Wait! Make that anything from Oxford, especially any links to Cameron and the Bullingdon Club stuff he did, but I didn’t.

“Oh Christ! Eton too.

“Oh, f**k it! Everything. Redact, delete, expunge everything!.. Except puppy adoption day 2019…

“just in case I need to Google myself.”

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