Number 10 has announced that Boris Johnson will suspend Parliament today for more than a month, despite the ongoing Brexit crisis.
Labour have reported that, feeling worried about the ‘bigger boys’ starting to get more points than him, Johnson took parliament and booted it onto a nearby roof.
He alleges that this was an ‘accident’, even though he was heard screaming “If you don’t stop playing, then I’m going to kick the ball onto the roof!” numerous times.
The suspension is expected to go ahead, and MPs are expected to reject calls for a snap election.
Parliament will be suspended after the MPs realised that nobody had bought a spare one with them.
They decided the best option was to be honest, and if the EU asked why they weren’t playing with it, point at Johnson and state that he ‘kicked it on the roof like a twat’.
There is a rule that states: If Parliament is on the roof, the timer will still go on, even if the other team can’t score any points.
Johnson stated that it was entirely coincidental that his actions resulted in a rule that would ‘benefit him enormously, in a manner that’s so transparent it’s almost criminal’.
Parliament is expected to resume October 14th.
Labour initially tried toget Parliament off the roof by finding a member of staff who could help then, only to discover that Johnson had fired them all.