Boris Johnson confirms leadership bid – promising to replace Tory Incompetence with Tory Buffoonery

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Boris Johnson confirms leadership bid. Tory Incompetence to be replaced by Tory Buffoonery

Boris Johnson has said he will run for the Conservative Party leadership after Theresa May stands down.

The comments mark the tipping point at which the policy of Tory Incompetence was replaced by a policy of Tory Buffoonery, that will inevitably see a much bigger role for Chris Grayling.

May has confirmed her departure date to be anytime between tomorrow and ‘the Day of Judgement when the Lord will judge us all’.

Johnson has confirmed his leadership battle bus is ready to go, with all sorts of lies down the side and the doors and windows fall out when you beep the horn.

When asked at an event in Manchester if he would be a candidate, Johnson replied: “Of course I’m going to go for it.”

The revelation is the least surprising thing to happen since Vladimir Putin wrestled a bear after surprising it whilst it was shitting in the woods.

Mrs May has confirmed she will resign once the House of Commons backs her Brexit deal.

So, never then.

The Brexit deal returns for a fourth time in scenes not seen since Bill Murray took 728 attempts to bang Andie MacDowell.

Former Foreign Secretary Johnson acknowledged there was no current vacancy in Downing Street.

There is however, an enormous space available between Chris Grayling’s ears.

Several senior Tories are expected to enter the contest for the leadership, with the winner becoming prime minister.

They each have the backing of the Labour Party, who have now officially confirmed themselves they are basically not running for the position.

International Development Secretary Rory Stewart and former work and pensions secretary Esther McVey have announced they will run and former leadership candidate Andrea Leadsom has also confirmed he is considering doing so.

The widely touted possible contenders include former and current members of the Cabinet, including Dominic Raab

Who is a bellend.

Sajid Javid,

Who is a bellend.

Jeremy Hunt,

Who is a bellend.

Penny Mordaunt,

Who is a bellend.

Liz Truss

Who is a bellend.

and Michael Gove.

who is a monumental bellend.

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