Boris Johnson and Michael Gove are currently languishing in a police cell after being stopped and searched today, it has emerged.
Over the weekend Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced that police forces across England and Wales will now be able to carry out stop-and-searches in designated areas without authorisation from a senior officer.
Little realising that they might use those very powers on him or his friends.
Stop-and-search refers to stopping a person in order to search them for weapons or other prohibited items, such as drugs.
Especially, as in the clear case of Michael Gove and the less clear but highly probable case of Boris Johnson, if there is a known history of past drug use.
Following fears it was being used too widely and unfairly targeting ethnic minorities, especially young black men, stop-and-search fell by 80% between 2009-10 and 2017-18.
However, following the admission in June by a number of white, middle-aged Tory leadership hopefuls that they had done cocaine, marijuana and even opium, it seems the demographic balance of those arrested is being redressed.
The arresting officer, PC Karma Sabitch, told us: “It was a bit awkward, stopping and searching Boris and Michael on their way into Downing Street, but we have to go on the intelligence we have. That they themselves told us, in fact.
“We found some cocaine in Boris Johnson’s pocket, and in Michael Gove’s pocket we found a copy of the Daily Mail and a small crackpipe. We threw away the disgusting paraphernalia, and the crackpipe, too.”
Boris has promised tougher sentences on hardened criminals.
So it is unknown when he and his accomplice Michael will be released.