Boris Johnson has returned to the UK amid mounting criticism over his failure to cut short his Caribbean holiday to address soaring tensions in the Middle East.
The PM was whisked by Special Service agents from the cockpit of his flight wearing Speedos, flip-flops and a Bob Marley vest to a waiting convoy.
Mr Johnson is under mounting pressure from opposition leaders to make a statement on the killing of Major General Qassem Soleimani.
A statement that hopefully won’t entail the UK being ‘oven ready’ to face Iran.
Foreign Secretary Dominic Raab claimed he had been in “constant contact” with Mr Johnson, adding: “The Prime Minister is in charge.”
Boris plans to review the Iran situation during a drinks break from an urgently scrambled COBRA Caribbean holiday snaps slideshow meeting, Monday morning, jet-lag and hangover permitting.
Shadow foreign secretary Emily Thornberry has accused Mr Johnson of “sunning himself drinking vodka martinis somewhere else and not paying attention”.
The prime minister dismissed the accusation as ‘poppycock’ and ‘piffle’, before requesting the Ceremonial Mace from the House of Commons be relocated to the briefing room, as he wishes to challenge Liz Truss to a limbo dance competition.