Boris Blames Tory lying habit on Adam from The Garden of Eden

UK Politics

During the Sunday Andrew Marr interview, Prime Minister, Boris Johnson (55) blamed the Labour Government of nine years ago for the early release of convicted terrorist Usman Khan, the man responsible for the London Bridge Terrorist incident last Friday

..and when the Premier (55)  was confronted over his historic history of lying in the press, on the radio, on television, on the side of buses, to Parliament and The Queen (94), he went onto to blame potentially fictional biblical character, Adam (>6000), for inventing lying.

Adam, of The Garden of Eden, allegedly created the first lie by denying the consumption of a knowledge bearing, magic fleshy fruit

“You cannot blame lying on this Tory Government”, the smiling roguish leader of the world’s sixth-largest economy smirked, “The origin of lying, lies (pun intended)  in some satanic place called Eden. Which isn’t, as soon-to-be-ex-MP Raab informed me, just outside St Dennis in Cornwall, but some hellish backwater of Iraq. It is simply not this government’s fault. Get Brexit Done!”.

During the ITV leadership debate, the official Conservative press office Twitter account changed its name to “factcheckUK.” Under its new title, it stated claims made by Johnson were true and claims made by Corbyn were false.

“Deception, dishonesty, if I may ‘dire des mensonges’ “, spaffed the father of an indeterminate number of children, “The very mechanism of untruths, lie firmly, nay solidly, with Adam of Eden. Get Brexit Done!”

During a recent BBC Question Time Special Mr Johnson faced remorselessly hostile questions on whether he could be trusted

“You can trust in me to uphold fine biblical traditions laid down in The Book of Genesis, for which this Government is not to blame.  I see Adam of Eden as a pioneer, a progressive, a man who branched out on his own and grasped the fig-leaf with both hands”, stated the selective TV appearing leader of the Conservative Party whilst looking at a school textbook that curiously seemed to have ‘Dominic Cummings, Religious Studies, 5A’ inscribed upon it, “In many ways Adam of Eden was probably the first true Tory. Where would we be without him? Walking around naked and still living in Paradise I expect. Get Brexit Done!”

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