Boris applies for planning permission for his penis as hard-on for leadership already exceeds 8 metres

UK Politics
Boris applies for planning permission for his penis as hard-on for leadership already exceeds 8 metres

Homeowners in England will no longer require planning permission to build larger extensions.

Unfortunately, the 8m limit above which you still need to apply means Boris Johnson requires planning permission for the gigantic erection he has had for leadership since 2016.

Already horrendously priapic before he seized upon the EU referendum to further his monomaniacal obsession with the premiership, Cameron’s misguided attempt to reconcile differences within the Bastard Party resulted in BoJo’s trouser elastic snapping so quickly it almost took Michael Gove’s eye out as he was fellating him whilst simultaneously stabbing him in the back.

Neighbours will still be consulted and can raise objections to extensions.

Though Boris’s neighbours will be more than happy, as he may be moving out his house into Number Ten, meaning they won’t have to experience his increasingly more throbbing bellend banging against the outside of their first floor windows every morning.

If they raise concerns, the council decides if the extension is likely to harm the character or enjoyment of the area, and may block the plans.

However, Boris’s ‘extension’ does not alter his character in any way, and is as much part of his character as his ridiculous hair.

They do not affect the enjoyment of the area. The complete opposite, says Johnson himself.

Housing minister Kit Malthouse said the change in England means people can grow without being forced to move.

Though one can only assume Johnson’s johnson will grow yet further if he is forced to move to Downing Street.

In the event that happens, it’s extremely likely the right honourable member may not even fit through the famous door.

And consequently, neither will the right honourable member.

Who is in no way honourable.

Boris is seen as a real member in Parliament, with more than you think seeing him as the complete package.

Read that line again if you didn’t see either of the gags in it.  They’re really good.

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