Boris’ amazing ‘question dodging’ skills land him role in new Matrix movie.

Entertainment, Art & Culture, UK Politics
Boris' amazing 'question dodging' skills land him role in new Matrix movie.

Boris Johnson was heckled by the Question Time audience last Friday, after constantly dodging questions on the Russia report.

Boris’ ability to dodge these questions was phenomenal, and shows no signs of stopping.
He is able to, at will, perform physically improbable, and gravity defying acts of question dodging, be it with reporters, interviews, or enraged members of the public.

Boris’ question dodging abilities have become so well renowned, that they’ve landed him a role in the new Matrix movie currently in development.

A 4th Matrix movie was announced earlier this summer.

Keanu Reeves will reprise his role as bullet-dodging-Jesus-allegory Neo (an anagram of ONE), while Boris will be playing a question dodging villain known as Neot (an anagram of ETON).
The Matrix franchise features a future society decimated by technological warfare that has obliterated cities, and hidden the sun behind clouds of ash and smog.

This is also how the Prime Minister’s advisers described the North of England to him, in order to deter any visits.

Boris also dodged questions about the ‘FactCheck’ twitter account, stating he was unaware of it would “apprise myself of the detail of this.”

Boris hoped his use of the word ‘apprise’ would confuse any serf-brained plebs in the audience and give him some breathing room.

Boris continued dodging questions throughout the debate, and it is believed he will only intensify this process in order to train for the new movie.

He does have some concerns with the plot though, as he is still struggling as to why men in suits trying to crush a group of people living in poverty and squalor are actually the villains of the movie.


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