Bleedin’ foreign sharks, comin’ over ‘ere, eatin’ our jobs…


According to a report commissioned by National Geographic, more and more sharks are heading to the UK – with as many as ten non-native species expected by 2050, as water temperatures rise.

This is why we need Brexit. These foreign sharks, coming to our waters, eating our fish, changing the whole culture of the sea. Go back to where you came from sharks.

It should at least make our coastlines a little less dull. Right now the biggest risk is that you might scrape your knee on a rock, or bump into a celebrity swimming in aid of Sport Relief – and that gets repetitive after the 19th time.

If you’re a shark thinking about visiting the UK, then we ask you to look beyond the obvious tourist spots like Brighton and Torquay. Why not head north to the beautiful East Yorkshire coast where you can take in Whitby, Filey and Robin Hoods Bay in a single afternoon. Sure it’s a bit colder, but it’s friendlier too – you’re always guaranteed a warm welcome in Yorkshire. This news item was sponsored by VisitYorkshire, the number one resource for all things Yorkshire and/or shark tourism.

The News Dump

Written By: News Dump

Sometimes our writers get together and collaborate on stuff. When that happens, this guy sits in. He probably didn't write any of the jokes - he just likes to feel involved. Full credits at the end of the article.
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