Blaze breaks out in London’s historic law district after Brexiteers torch a Pret a Manger

Home Affairs

Around 150 firefighters tackled a blaze at an office building in London’s historic law district on Sunday Night.

The fire was spread from an adjacent Pret a Manger, which had been torched by celebrating Brexiteers, enraged at anything they felt was a threat to ‘British Purity’.

The Leave voting crowd, drunk with power from Friday’s Brexit day, torched the ‘foreign’ establishment using a combination of cheap bic lighters and Molotov cocktails made from Tesco’s own gin.

The Brexiteers stated that they did not intend for the blaze to spread as it did, and blamed it on the aggressive nature of ‘EU expansion’, unaware that Pret a Manger is an English chain.

They claimed they wanted to raze the building to the ground, and replace it with the far more British ‘Eat Now’.

Most of the group ran after the blaze got out of control, and those that (ironically) remained told Police they honestly ‘didn’t expect it to get so bad’ and ‘thought it’d be fine’.

The fire was brought under control and fire crews will remain at the scene to minimise damage to the building.

They are also going to be monitoring other ‘foreign’ sounding establishments, such as Caffè Nero, French Connection, and the croissant tray at Greggs.

 

  •   
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.