Bill Murray to star as Prime Minster in ‘Groundhog May’

Entertainment, Art & Culture, UK Politics
Bill Murray to star as Theresa May in 'Groundhog Brexit'

Theresa May will make the case for her new Brexit plan in Parliament later, despite signs that Conservative opposition to her leadership is building.

Watching with interest is actor Bill Murray, who is in line to star as the PM in upcoming movie ‘Groundhog May’, which details the story of Theresa May bringing the same Withdrawal Bill in front of Parliament again and again and again.  And now again.

However, Mr Murray admitted he has reservations, “Even though I’m the go-to person for a film where things repeat again and again, I’m still finding the constant return of this Withdrawal Bill tedious to the point of watching a Dan Ackroyd film.

The prime minister will outline changes to her Withdrawal Agreement Bill

SPOILER ALERT: There aren’t any.

Mainly, she will point out how she’s not only changed the font to Comic Sans, but now she’s made it 14 point.

The changes are believed to include a promise to offer MPs a vote on holding a second referendum.

The thought of this alone is thought to have made Jacob Rees-Mogg clench his fists so hard, his fingers were coming out the other side again.

Shadow Brexit secretary Sir Keir Starmer said the offer was “too weak”.

“Just putting the same thing in front of everyone is a bit like the kids asking ‘Are we there yet?’, ‘Are we there yet?’, ‘Are we there yet?’”

Some senior Tories will today ask party bosses for a rule change to allow a no-confidence vote in her leadership.

Because it’s okay to have a second vote on something when you don’t get what you want, even if they’re trying to do this solely to stop the country having a second vote on something because they didn’t get what they want.

As the PM survived such a vote as recently as December, the rules say she cannot face another for 12 months.

If only we were so lucky to have this ruling applied to the Withdrawal Agreement, then none of us would have to follow it in the news.

Environment Secretary Michael Gove defended the PM’s plan.

Needless to say, he said this whilst sharpening his trusty back knife, as he prepares to use it once again.

It’s a 101-er now!

MPs have rejected the withdrawal agreement negotiated with the EU three times, and attempts to find a formal compromise with Labour have failed.

Unsurprising, given that Labour hasn’t yet been able to find a compromise with itself, let alone its arch-nemesis.

Ultimately, Brexit could result in the Conservative Party being torn apart, both internally and decimated in any future elections.

In fact, this may be the only thing left to make them look like they made Brexit a success.

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