Bez can celebrate, as industrial Fracking now banned in Greater Manchester! Immediately shifts campaign over to the dangers of personal use instead.

Nature, Politics

Mayor of Greater Manchester, Andy Burnham, is supporting a ban on fracking as part of a plan for the region to become carbon neutral by 2038.

Long-time anti-Fracking campaigner and Happy Mondays’ frontman Bez might be about to whip out the maracas in celebration – but an insider has revealed that the real reason for the ban was to prevent Bez himself from standing for Parliament.

Such a move, say insiders, could undermine the political landscape in a far more devastating way than fracking undermines the physical landscape.

In 2014 the Hacienda heartthrob threatened to enter Parliament as an elected MP in his hometown of Salford, using “Shake your maracas if you’re against the frackers” as a campaign slogan.

It’s understood the ban on fracking has been taken on the advice of safety concerns, but would pull the rug from under Bez’s political ambitions. With a possibility of a snap general election being called in the near future, it’s widely regarded that anyone running for Parliament in trustworthy shoes, will get in.

The Unhappy Mondays man has been highly critical of the wide-scale industrial use of fracking to extract shale gas, claiming possible contamination of the water supply.

Bez is also less than complimentary on fracking for personal use: “First, you might frack a bit of shale in the garden to boost the patio heater for dinner-party friends at the weekend, and it’s a laugh, you get a buzz off the tremors. Then before you know it you’re living in a frack-den full of frack-heads pipelining half the neighbourhood and you can’t remember the last time you snorted fresh air. So, just say no, man!”

David Hughes

Written By: David Hughes

David is an aspiring comedy writer who has written mainly for Newsbiscuit. After achieving November writer of the month his ambition is to be a successful stand-up performer without standing up or performing.
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