Following the announcement that most over-75s will no longer get free TV licences, the government has said the BBC must ‘do more to support older people’.
In response, the BBC has promised to produce its own version of popular ITV reality show, Love Island. In the BBC edition, all the contestants will be at least 75.
Love Island sees a cast of sculpted twenty-somethings vying to ‘couple up’ in a Spanish resort. Contestants on the current series include models, influencers and a surfer.
BBC producers are expected to scout for hotties at WI meetings and antiques fairs.
Brian (77) from Dursley hopes his years of modelling will increase his chances of being picked. Unfortunately space on the island is limited, so he won’t be able to take his model railway with him.
A BBC producer reassured fans of the original format:
“Clearly there will have to be some changes due to the participants’ age, but the emphasis will still very much be on sex. So much sex.”
The licence fee change will apply from June 2020. Approximately 3.7 million pensioners are expected to lose out.
While the new show will only be able to directly help around fourteen OAPs get laid each year, it aims to demonstrate that anything is possible, given the right combination of pills.
The government handed over the cost of providing the free licences to the BBC four years ago. Some commentators argue it’s hypocritical for Conservatives to blame the BBC for the change.
Fans of the long-running dystopian drama series Britain will note this kind of U-turn is ‘classic Tory’ and fits neatly into a character arc that ends with Boris Johnson torching council estates from the back of a dragon.
Sadly, elderly viewers will be unable to see how the series ends, either due to losing their licence or, well, you know…