The News Dump contacted Sports Direct for a statement. The person we contacted spoke into a walkie talkie, told us someone would be out to help us shortly. We waited 30 minutes before going next door to JD Sports.
“An asteroid the size of Big Ben is expected to skim past earth later on tonight” says a spokesperson for NASA” But, equally I could tell you that a dozen space monkeys were going to cartwheel passed Jupiter and you’d be none the wiser.” He went on to tell The NewsDump “It’s because I have a massive telescope and you don’t, so I can make any old shit up and you have no choice but to believe me.”
Motoring groups have expressed their concern questioning weather of not drivers were becoming cash cows, payment pigs or even money monkeys. A police spokesman said that the police do not ‘make money’ from the courses before climbing into his gold Bentley police car with specially commissioned orchestral nee-nars.
It was an emotional weekend for Cheryl as she broke down and cried during two dance performances on Saturday’s episode of The Greatest Dancer despite them both being just dancers doing dancing and that. And now it can be revealed that she is as confused as the rest of us as to what her surname actually is. We know it started with Tweedy and then it all gets a bit hazy. There was definitely a double barrelled one for a short time. Now she’s given up trying to remember and just settled on Cheryl.