Santa confirms all Tory voters will be put on the naughty listSanta confirms all Tory voters will be put on the naughty list

Santa confirms all Tory voters will be put on the naughty list

December 12, 2019

“I really can’t be bothered to deliver presents to insensitive arseholes who vote in such a complete shower of shit,” said the rosy fellow today. “If they think that they can vote to make themselves richer and the poor poorer, and STILL expect a present off me, then they can just fuck right off,” he laughed.

Bucks Fizz Brexit hopeful Jay Aston plans to prove that the Land of Make Believe is a shit-torn wasteland full of medically deprived dead babies

Bucks Fizz Brexit hopeful Jay Aston plans to prove that the Land of Make Believe is a shit-torn wasteland full of medically deprived dead babies

August 30, 2019

Former Eurovision winner Jay Aston has announced that she is going to stand as an MP for the Brexit Party, in the London seat of Kensington, despite stating that she wants to ‘uphold democracy’. However, former band members have said that this is a cry for help and that their former colleague has never accepted that the Land of Make Believe was simply a shit pop song and not a prophecy.