The Electoral Commission is to visit the offices of The Brexit Party today to review how it receives funding – acting on rumours that Nigel Farage had received deposits from a Milk Sheik.
Mail on Sunday hugely disappoints republicans after promising to show picture of a Royal swinging on a rope.
May 19, 2019The delightful picture was taken by a palace aide last week as Kate took a playful break from putting finishing touches to the garden before the world-famous show opens on Tuesday. The picture has sparked off cries on Twitter for the editor of the Mail on Sunday to be sacked. “I don’t understand how this picture is any different to the one I tweeted,” said Danny Baker.
Country set for May-Ja-Vu as Theresa agrees to hand over power – but only to herself.
May 17, 2019Boris Johnson has also said he will run for leader once Mrs May goes. Although senior figures in the Conservative party would prefer to outsource the role to Vladimir Putin who, it’s widely believed, has covertly been in more control of the UK’s destiny than the current British prime minister.
Housing minister James Brokenshire denies he has four ovens, it’s twelve if you count his other two houses.
May 16, 2019James Brokenshire has thanked Diane Abbott for her offer to come round to his house to count the ovens, but no one can honestly see how that will help the situation.
Senior figures against cross-party talks – so Corbyn and May to continue discussions under the rules of charades.
May 15, 2019Government sources have told the BBC that there would not be a fifth attempt if Mrs May’s deal is voted down for a fourth time. This undermines the Government’s strategy who, believing Brexit will be unlucky for the country, are aiming for a thirteenth attempt.
Wikipedia says it has been blocked in China since April – world refuses to believe them unless they cite a credible source
May 15, 2019Wikipedia have added this information to their website. Unfortunately, the page cites itself as the source, causing browsers that attempt to access it to go into an infinite loop.
Royal Family apologises for creating yet another white, privileged male.
May 6, 2019The Duchess of Sussex has given birth to a boy, the Duke of Sussex has announced – and apologised that, against all their hopes, it is a white, privileged male. ‘Sorry! This has proved to be a huge disappointment for us. There’s still a chance he’ll be gay, and we promise we will do everything possible to facilitate that. Fingers crossed, eh?’
Real reason Gavin Williamson sacked – Leaking ‘Line of Duty’ spoilers to Theresa May
May 6, 2019Labour’s shadow chancellor says he does not trust Theresa May… after he discovered that, over the weekend, Theresa threatened to spoil ‘Line of Duty’ for Jeremy Corbyn as well, unless he agreed to her Brexit deal.
Government rushes in plans to prevent eviction of tenants without good reason as Theresa May insists on staying in No 10
April 15, 2019Private landlords will no longer be able to evict tenants at short notice without good reason under new government plans. And Theresa May herself looks set to benefit from these plans as she continues to insist the current Brexit stalemate is not her fault.
Theresa May’s Sofa Speech: The Honest Version
April 8, 2019The PM addressed the nation from her sofa. Here’s what she wishes she could’ve said.
