Amazon has apologised for sending out some pre-ordered copies of The Testaments, Margaret Atwood’s follow-up to The Handmaid’s Tale. And, to the annoyance of many Brexiteers, Amazon have also been found to have delivered all the benefits of Brexit to their Prime customers before the official delivery date.
Experts are warning about the dangers of “fussy eating” after a 17-year-old suffered irreparable sight loss after living on a diet of crisps and chips. But the news comes far too late for a man who’s been living on a diet of crisps and beer and is now completely blind to any adverse effects of a hard Brexit.
A study has found that optimists are more likely to live longer than those who have a more negative approach to life – because they shorten the life span of everybody else by being a major source of their ill health through the stress that they cause. Positive people were more likely to live to the age of 85 or more. A representative for pessimists said that the results didn’t surprise them.
Boris’s made his latest move at the G7 summit, slapping Emmanuel Macron on the back at the G7 summit. He then cried out, “You’re Brex-It!” and ran away from a rather bemused Macron. Merkel has explained to Macron that Boris is under the false impression that whoever is ‘Brex-It’ at midnight on 31st December loses Brexit.